Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
