Jerry, you need to find god
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
you inspire me to be a worse person
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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