he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
