Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Randomize
