Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
