My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
So. Much. Porn.
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