is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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