Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
