I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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