i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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