Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
