shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
