so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
