The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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