if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
