Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
