We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
