I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
