She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
