If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
