so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Randomize
