Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
