Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
