The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
