her vagina looked like bernie madoff
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
