dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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