How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
