are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
