I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
