just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
