Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
