I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
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