OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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