i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
