I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
