Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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