don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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