Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
