if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
