Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize