When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
He's a Shit stain on my heart
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
