He disabled his match.com account in front of me
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Randomize
