someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
