i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
