What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
