I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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