Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize