I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Randomize
