i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
