wrigley field is MILF paradise
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Randomize
