i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
